Why I Needed an Epidural to Survive 2012

Well, everyone else on the web is reviewing their 2012. And I had to get on that train. One think I adore is writing lists and expressing gratitude. So here goes.
Things in 2012 that helped define me for 2013.

• I gave birth to my 5th child. My fourth was a traumatic experience with an hour and a half placement of an epidural. Number 5 renewed my faith in medicine. It was fairly quick and almost painless. I'm glad for that - my son ended up being 9 lbs and 10 oz. I mean, hello! We ended up naming him Deegan Ford. Deegan for Brian Deegan, motocross, and Ford because we are a FORD family. Love them. Anyway, that's the baby.
• We jumped on the home schooling routine. I noticed a huge change in my kids this year, in their attitude and self-esteem. I'm so grateful for that.
• My husband found a terrific job and for the first time in 7 years, I was able to quit transcriptioning and focus on family and my writing. I am now sleeping 5 to 6 hours a night versus 3 to 4. Oh, it's so weird!
• Six of my books have been published this year, well, five novels and one short. The short was fun to write! Heck, they all were. Lol. I love my job.
• I've had the opportunity to meet many people this year and I have to say that I adore my acute friends as well as my chronic ones. There is something special about a friend that you can laugh with and also cry with. You know who you are.
• This last one I'm going to share is a first and hopefully a last for me. We got pregnant with our 6th child this year. Eight weeks later we lost it. I'm not tore up by it anymore, but it made me wake up and take a look at other women and how much I've taken for granted that I was able to get pregnant so easily five times previously. Some women never have children and endure the hope and then the devastation of a miscarriage more times than I care to count. My heart goes out to these mothers. I'm so sorry. I'm grateful for the experience - no matter how hard it was - because now I have more understanding of others.

I have so much to work on this next year. I want to be a better mother, wife, daughter, friend, and writer. Falling short seems to be my forte. But I'd like to feel like I accomplished something this next year.

1. Less comparing myself to others. We all do it, I just want to stop.
2. More compassion for others. This goes especially for family. I don't have the most patience but this year I would like to grow in that regard.
3. I would like to learn to let things go. Some people in my life are not necessarily wanted, but I must have a lesson to learn from them. I've had these problems with them for over 14 years - in order to be free of them, I might have to put a little more effort into my lessons. Ugh. :)
4. Less procrastination. I've set up a schedule and a plan and by golly, I'm going to do my best to stick to it. I get distracted easily. Way too - SQUIRREL!
5. Spend more time with my kids and make sure they know how much I love them. I wouldn't do have the crap I do, if it wasn't for them. Seriously. I love them. So much.

I hope you have a terrific year. I hope 2012 has left you intact both spiritually and mentally. Thank you for being on this journey with me.
I look forward to this next one with you.
Hugs and love.