Small Hiatus

So I can wrap up some end of 2011 tasks and get prepped for the next year. So grateful for all of you and I hope you have a tremendous rest of the year!

See you next year (I love saying that).

Have a Merry Christmas!

I think the title says it all.

I wish you and yours a great holiday season and I hope you are safe and warm. Christ was the gift to our world, what can you give to him?

I was thinking a dirt bike, but I think that's more on my list than on His.

Do You Have the Guts?

Okay, I made it onto the "In An Agent's Inbox" contest over at Mother.Write. (Repeat). And I'm a little nervous.

I had to submit a query and the first 250 words to Krista in a certain time period to be considered. I made the first 20 cut and then she posted them today.

An agent will be telling what and when and how it's right or wrong. 

And commenters can as well. You should stop by! I'm #16. What do you think?

Name this Song

Big and I'm bad
And I want you to know
I hang around where the grass is greener.

Totally naked, baby, totally nude.
"Cause if I want to,
Who's gonna stop me?

Manners Where Art Thou? Bonnie's Blunt Bite

So, after my abysmal fail yesterday due to the injury up some stairs - ugh - I missed doing my post on further manners.

Diana writes -

Bonnie - what is your take on people just stopping by without a call or some other indication they are coming?

Diana, I have to tell you I think that is crossing the line from spontaneous to rude. I'll expand on this.

If you know the person so well that they have a key to your place and/or you have discussed this exact situation with them, have an invite for a specific time, etc. - it is more than acceptable.

However, if you haven't addressed this issue, are on semi-formal to formal terms with this person, if this person/or yourself knock each time you arrive at their house or vice versus, if you aren't sure how to address them (i.e. Mr. Mrs. Sister. Brother, etc.), and/or if you have never talked to them on the phone then you should probably text, call, email or something else prior to showing up at their door or, again, vice versus.

Because if you aren't comfortable doing the above yet, then you won't be comfortable seeing them naked or in another phase of undress (this can happen and has!), you won't be ready to deal with their parenting style, house cleanliness level, busyness of the family, you won't be able to handle the fact that they may not be there or are just sprinting off to go somewhere and you certainly won't be able to understand when it is too early or too late to show up.

At my house, I'm in bed by 7 pm (no later than 7:30 pm).  People who show up after this time will deal with Hubs who WILL NOT bother me for anything short of one of my kids' legs falling off - which would be next to impossible since they're in bed, too. Again, those who know me, know they can swing by before they drop the kids off at school or after because I'm home and won't run errands until after 10 - after things are finished at the house.

I never - I repeat NEVER stop by someone's house without contacting them first. Even to drop something off. If they aren't home, I leave a message that I'm dropping something off and leave it at their doorstep.

This applies even to my mother and grandparents. It's polite. It's courteous. And I would hate to interrupt some family time or go out of my way to drive somewhere if they weren't even there or if I wasn't "welcome" - this refers not to an actual state of being welcome in their lives and homes, but rather fitting in to their busy schedules.

Everyone has time crunches. This is perfectly normal. But to expect someone else to put their lives on hold because you show up without notice isn't thinking about the other person. Even if you're down the street, toss them a text that you're in the area and can stop by if it works for them. 

They will be grateful and may even tell you that you - yes, you - don't have to call beforehand to which you then no longer have to follow this rule. At which point, I say, good on you!

Okay, what do you think? And Diana did I answer your question? And please email me with other questions.  I will blunt it up for you!

I Fell Up The Stairs, What's Your Excuse?

Yep, you read right. I fell up the stairs last night and scraped up my hand and elbow. Woke up this morning and I can't move my head. I'm a dork.

Hubs has declared me a national risk. He said no more stairs.

I laughed. In my house to get from the bathroom to the kitchen - you use the stairs.

So anyway, I'm down today. I will post my manners topic tomorrow. Hope you have a productive day!

My Name is Bonnie and I'm an Addict...

I am serious.  A few weeks ago I got my phone bill and it reported more than 3100 text messages in a month period.  That is way too many when I have 4 kids and all the other stuff I do.

My goal has been to improve my productivity in all aspects of my life. INcreasing texting will not help in other arenas, so I decided to cut back.

I made the announcement on Facebook. I emailed loved ones.

"Hey, guys. Had way too many texts last month. I'm going to cut back. Email me or call me if you need me."

You all took me to heart. You didn't realize that I'm an addict that can't go cold turkey. I didn't realize this.

The lack of texting (which has been the main source of my socalization for quite a while), actually sent me into a downward spiral of depression. This last week was the culmination into a serious mood bender. No, it wasn't the only factor, but it was a large one.

Now that I know the problem, I'm not going to let it rule me. I was really in a heavy state of withdrawal and was consumed by it.

So I'm making a new goal. I'm going to start commenting more on blogs - that's a great way to socialize and I can control how much I do. Texting just sort of takes over and you find yourself doing it when you're supposed to be eating dinner with the family. Yep. I've done that a ton.

Do you have anything you're working on? What can I do to help?

Have You Visited These People Lately?

Well, in leiu of an actual dirt bike ride (it is entirely too cold to take mine out! *pout*), I thought we'd tour the web today and visit some people I admire. Strap on your helmet (safety first, peeps!) and let's do this. If you can't keep up, get a bigger bike! hahaha.

Maggie Fechner - Love this lady. She's a hard worker and a great CP. Her blog has funny, insightful and supportive information about the process she is going through as a mom, writer, photographer, and more. Have you been over there?

Rebecca Zanetti - Craving dark paranormal? This author is the one for you. She is rising fast and furious and is doing this all without her own Vin Deisel. She often has giveaways and even shares some legal knowledge. Check her out.

Brooklyn Ann - Newly signed Sourcebooks's author, this lady has yet to bore me with her posts. She's consistent and supportive and gives an optimistic outlook to otherwise somber topics (yesterday's post is an example of this). She's one to watch.

Maureen A. Miller - I met this woman through Carina Press and have found her to be a fast friend who supports you no matter what. She's funny and creative and writes with her heart. Yesterday, she put her picture on a horse. How funny is that? Swing over.

Elana Johnson - What? You haven't been over there? She's offering up a critique of query letters on her site today. 10 lucky punks will win. Also, she has an awesome FREE ebook on query writing. And I must say, IT'S AWESOME. Seriously. You're doing yourself a disservice, if you don't swing by.

Liz Fichera - I usually laugh long and hard at some of her posts. She's a terrific author and constantly supporting others on her site, Twitter and Facebook. I'd swing by just to read if wearing that abysmal Christmas sweater is okay.

Peggy Eddleman - Just discovered this author. She's awesome and I'm very impressed with the presentation of her information. She seems forthright and down to earth and like someone I'd love to hang out with. Plus the layout and design of her blog is beautiful and fun. Seriously, stop on over.

Carol Kilgore - A splash of sun in this dreary season is always welcome and Carol has lots of fun to be had. Stop by. 

I haven't even scraped the surface. We may have to do this a few Fridays until I a) can get my bike out, b) run out of blogs that I love or c) get so fat that I've decided to hibernate in bed. Hmmm. I guess I don't need to be huge to do the last one.

Who do you follow? Wanna Share?

Censorship.

I love when the video says it all.

But just in case you don't want to watch (a terrific and fast 5 minutes!). I'm an author that belongs to a very conservative church. And you know what? I've never heard of my church censoring or banning books. Ever. Because we believe in freedom and the freedoms and rights awarded by this country.

One of those rights? Freedom of Speech.

I'm an author who supports Freedom of Speech.

Do you?

I Don't Think It Matters Much...

People tend to get offended rather easily in this day and age. I don't know if it happens more than it used to, or I just see it now a lot more since I'm older (albeit not wiser).

Honking on the streets, fingers flipping here and there, curse words tossed about like candy in a parade. What did that person do to you to cause so much anger? So much pain?

Is there a possibility their intentions were unclear? Or were their intentions loud and brash?

I have a resolution to not be easily offended or hurt. Sometimes people say or do things that they don't really mean to. I do it ALL the TIME!

Do you notice this in yourself or others? What do you suggest we do about it?

Death and How Do You React?

A friend in my church passed away this week. From her second bout with cancer. This year.

Rather than go into my sadness for her family's loss and my belief that she's in a better place, I wanted to discuss reactions.

How do you react to loss/morbid topics/or mortality?

Hubs gets quiet and distant when he sees someone mortally wounded or hears about someone's death.

I make inappropriate jokes. Yes, I'm the one in the hospital when you get the diagnosis that you have lung cancer who says, "Well, it could be worse, you could have it in your vagina." See? Not funny, not appropriate and without any relevance to the topic or situation. I get very uncomfortable and when I'm not comfortable who knows what comes out of my mouth. It's a mystery. And quite frankly, I have no idea to fix it.

But at the same time, I don't know that I want to change it. If my only options are quiet withdrawal (which isn't me at all) or inappropriate group farting to get a laugh from depressed people - I gotta say, my style is the humorous (even if it's not funny to anyone else) reaction.

Do you have any alternatives to how to react to these situations? I'm open and search for help.